Jini (parapluies) wrote in tequila_dappled,

[Fairy Tail] New Management

Title: New Management
Fandom: Fairy Tail
Genre: Humor 
Rating: T
Characters/Pairings: Lucy, Gray & Natsu (no pairings).
Warnings/Spoilers: Just Gray and Natsu being... well, Gray and Natsu lol.
Status: Complete.
Summary: She always knew these two were morons, but this was kind of pushing it.
Notes: Prompt #15: dreamscape which was also partially inspired by this part in ch 72 lol. I actually wasn't going to post this, as I wasn't really satisfied with it, but what the heck. I'm posting it anyway xD

Lucy thought maybe she was having a hallucination. Or that maybe she was in some sort of alternate reality. The scene before her was surreal, if not totally bizarre. Okay—scratch that— really fucked up was the best way she could describe what she was seeing. And nobody else, but her, seemed to be sharing the same sentiments as her. 

They all went about their business without so much as batting an eyelash at Gray, who was seated in middle of the bar, being obnoxiously loud and acting, for lack of a better word, like a total moron. 

And yet his facial expression contradicted his actions; it was a mixture between pain and irritation, as though he couldn’t decide whether he wanted to kill himself or kill someone. Nonetheless, that didn’t explain why he was wearing clothes, least of all— 

“Lucy, for the love of all that’s magical … will you quit staring at me like that? It’s starting to make me feel self-conscious,” Gray said. 

This just made Lucy gawk even more. The fact that Gray even felt the slightest bit ‘self-conscious’ and said it as though he was actually capable of feeling such a term was proof enough for Lucy that she was not in her own universe. 

“W-Who are you and what have you done to the real Gray Fullbuster?” she blurted out. 

Gray cocked an eyebrow at her, giving her a peculiar look. “What?” 

“You,” she fumbled, but couldn’t seem to find the right words to say and just pointed at him—or rather his clothes. “What are you doing wearing Natsu’s clothes?!” she demanded. 

For a second, Gray’s eye twitched, but then his expression changed and he looked like he was about to be sick. 

“Oh, God… I hate transportation,” he groaned, covering his mouth. “Make it stop…ughhh…” 

Lucy’s brain nearly exploded. “Wha—we’re not even on a moving vehicle so how could you be… wait, wait, what am I saying? That’s not even the point! You don’t get motion sickness, Gray!” said Lucy, exasperated. “Why the hell are you acting like Natsu?!” 

However, just as she’d asked this, the doors to the guild had slammed opened and Natsu came strolling in… completely naked. 

Lucy’s eyes widened, gapping like a fish flopping out of water. “W-WHAT ARE YOU—WHY ARE YOU—“Then promptly felt like gauging her eyes out with a fork. “OH MY GOD,” she cried, in evident horror, “THEY BURN.” 

Natsu looked down at himself and ‘acted’ like he hadn’t been aware that he’d strolled in with only his birthday suit on. 

“DAMN NOT AGAIN!” he said. 

For the second time that evening, Lucy’s brain exploded into a million pieces. 

Now Lucy liked to think her friends weren’t that ridiculous. Or they at least had some semblance of a brain up in those thick skulls of theirs. Sure one of them just happened to be an exhibitionist and the other was well, Natsu, but she was sure despite their knack for idiocy and driving her insane that they weren’t all that stupid. 

However, at this very moment, they couldn’t have proven her more wrong. She didn’t even know what to say anymore. Why had Erza chosen, of all days, to do an S-rank mission? If she’d been here there was no flat chance both Natsu and Gray would even dare pull off the stunts they were doing. 

“Oi, oi,” she said, left eye twitching spasmodically. She was beginning to hit the limit of her patience. “What are you guys even doing?” 

But they seemed to have not heard her. They were too busy glaring at one another. This pissed Lucy off even more. These two never listened to her. 

“HAH. You thought I couldn’t do it, but I told you, didn’t I?” said Natsu, grinning haughtily. “I could act like you easy—a damn pervert!” 

Gray didn’t back down. “Well, being you isn’t that hard either,” he retorted. “I just had to down a few brain cells and act like a complete twat.” 

Natsu’s look of glee disappeared and his grin was replaced with a scowl. “What the hell did you say, asshole?” he snarled, butting heads with the dark-haired boy. 

Gray pushed back. “You heard me,” he said. 

Lucy, still trying to gain some semblance of peace of mind and some patience, tried to come between them. “C’mon, guys,” she muttered, looking between the two, “quit fighting already. This is stupid.” 

But once again, her pleas for reason fell on deaf ears. 

Natsu seemed to have hit the drawing point already and cried out, “WELL, PREPARE TO GET YOUR ASS KICKED. I’M TAKING YOU DOWN!” He banged his fists together as a magic circle formed between them; fire was practically escaping his mouth his mouth. 

“TCH. LIKE YOU COULD BEAT ME!” said Gray, who took a battle stance as the air around him began to decrease in temperature.   

However, before they could start ripping each other limb from limb, they felt a tingle of foreboding crawl up their spines. A dangerous aura that only one person in Fairy Tail was able to omit and have them wetting their pants. 

When they both turned around, expecting to see Erza at the foyer, glare at the ready and weapon of punishment in hand, they were surprised to see Lucy standing there instead, and she was omitting such a deadly atmosphere that for a moment Natsu and Gray forgot their argument. The look she gave them was so potent that even Erza would have commended her for it. 

“Hey… didn’t I say quit fighting already?” she growled menacingly. “Cut that crap out.” 

Gray and Natsu suddenly felt really small and scared. “A-Aye…”

Tags: author: parapluies, character: gray, character: lucy, character: natsu, fandom: fairy tail
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